Unfortunately, Mock Chinese (which is what the Chef actually speaks) is a ``lossy'' language (no, I don't mean a ``lousy'' language). In the formalism of linguistics, this means that all computable translations must result in a loss of information (mathematically, I(f(s)) < I(s) for all f in C). Humans are not computers, however (here we assume that the Swedish Chef is human, or at least close enough), and thus are not limited to computable translations; specifically, we tend to extract a lot of information from context in all real languages. This turns out to be the key in Mock Chinese, in which *all* information is encoded in the phrase ``Bork bork bork!'' Thus, while it is easy for a human familiar with Mock Chinese to understand everything important just from the ``Bork bork bork!'' parts (as readers of this group will attest), it is clearly not possible to write a de-chef-er-ize-er. As a side-effect, this makes it quite easy to write songs in Mock Chinese since you can use any filler words you want; all of the actual lyrics are always ``Bork bork bork!'' Note that I'm not actually an expert in this field; I just translated for the Chef. He said ``Bork bork bork!''
- - John
Dere ees alsoo neet poosts froom dee heestoree oof a.s.c.b.b.b in dee /pub/tb/tbrowne/swedish_chef/txt deerectury. Bork Bork Bork!